Lovedrops of sadness, 
      choked back by clouds 
      of loneliness, 
      shower memories 
      of another summer 
      without you. 

     You 
     let 
     go 
     of 
     life 
     against a background 
     of colored Christmas lights. 

      Dawn breaks 
      along with my heart... 
      another day without you, 
      Spirit Child. 
      I hear your voice 
      in the whisper of the wind. 

      Rain falls, 
      mixed with my tears, 
      onto your grave. 
      A wet-fallen leaf 
      decorates your name 
      etched in stone. 

      Grief shadows 
      dreams of summer, 
      as warm as love's embrace, 
      leaving clouds of cold 
      winterscape horizons 
      in your place. 

    How does one measure 
    how long it has been? 
    By the number of sunsets 
    or by the tears that have fallen? 

    The sweet solitude of slumber 
    gives way to morning-teared memories 
    of all that used to be 
    when I had you safe 
    inside of me. 

    Our time together is no more. 
    Only God knows why you went away. 
    Sometimes I forget 
    you are no longer here 
    as I lovingly whisper your name. 

    And then I remember... 
    and life is not the same. 

      In my mind 
      I can almost see 
      a little one 
      like you and me 
      to keep us company. 
      But, it only 
      a fleeting vision, 
      not reality. 

      I picture "his" friends 
      and how it would have been one day. 
      I see faceless children 
      all at play-- 
      but mine's not there. 
      Time passes, 
      like Life, away. 
      A trace of emptiness remains. 

      There's no escaping 
      my prison-mind. 
      Will life ever be the same? 
      In the cold darkness of my room, 
      I hug my tear-soaked pillow tight 
      and wish for the end 
      of this long night. 

    Time passes, 
    but not the love I have for you, 
    nor the ache inside of me 
    because you are not. 

    You were with us 
    for as long as God allowed. 
    You were real. 
    You existed. 
    You counted. 

    You were with us 
    only a short time, 
    but it was time enough 
    to grow to love you, 
    for you to make 
     a difference in our lives. 

     You could not stay, 
     but thought of you 
     will forever remain, 
     as does the love this day, 
     tempered by the pain. 
 

      A blue-grey mist 
      lingers on 
      with visions of you 
      long after youâve gone. 

    As summer silently slipped into fall, 
    you suddenly ceased to be. 
    Alone now, in this season of grief, 
    the days of my heart grow cold. 
    The promise of winter takes hold, 
    erasing all memory of spring. 

      I saw God kissing you last night 
      (because I knew I couldn't). 
      I knew then you would be alright. 
      Still, my arms feel empty, 
      not having you to hold. 

      You were ours. 
      You were real, 
      just beginning to grow... 
      (and then you didn't). 
      Why did our "hello" 
      turn into "goodbye"? 

      In my mind 
      I still hold you inside. 
      Why did you have to leave? 
      I've tried to forget 
      (if only a little...) 
      but I haven't 
      and know I never will. 

      My tears remind me 
     you are no longer real. 
      Maybe someday 
      we can begin again 
      and I can kiss you goodnight 
      the way it should have been. 
      For now, help me to let you go 
      (for both of us...) 
      just until tomorrow. 

      I miss your almost being here. 
      You would have been 
      two years old this year. 

     Dreams sometime end 
     before they can begin. 
     There can be no child 
     for me to know - 
     no chance to ever 
     watch him grow, 
     no child to love, 
     to touch or hold. 

     I go to sleep and try to forget 
     that fact he'll never be 
     but, then I awake-- 
     and it all comes back to me. 
     Maybe time 
     will erase this ache. 
     Maybe tomorrow, 
     but it's hard to wait. 

     Maybe tomorrow 
     the sun will shine. 
     Maybe tomorrow 
     I'll be able to smile. 
     Maybe tomorrow 
     I'll stop hurting for awhile. 
     Maybe tomorrow 
     just won't come to be. 
 
 
 

      Summer has said goodbye 
      (like you did last night). 

      The autumn leaves are falling-- 
      ever so quietly 
      (like the tears from my eyes). 

      Winter will soon be here-- 
      but you won't be 
      (except in memory). 

      Spring will follow 
      and then, summer again. 

      What was a beginning 
      turned into an end. 
      You're free... 

      (like I want to be.) 
 
 

      Her still-swollen belly, 
      once holding life, 
      now holds nothing, 
      and she grieves. 
      No one seems 
      to understand. 

      Strangers stare and 
      exchange glances 
      as she struggles 
      to fight back her tears, 
      but finally surrenders 
      to the pain. 

      Her cries 
      shatter the quiet 
      of the aisles 
      filled with jars 
      of baby food 
      she'll never buy. 

      She wonders if the pain 
      will ever end. 
      But, most of all, 
      she wonders "Why?" 
      and knows life will never 
      be the same again. 

   Night hugged him to me. 
   Death embraced him with the dawn. 
   No celebration.

         Pale gray-washed morning 
         in fog-muffled silence 
         colors my chilled heart.